Christmas Support Group.

Dear Star,

You probably won’t know, but perhaps your aunties and uncles who love reading your letters behind your back can be of assistance.

I need to join an early Christmas support group. You know, a group where lovers of Christmas like myself can congregate and support each other.

Hear me out, 2020 has been quite the year for everyone. Being able to see this far into the year is such a great blessing. As such, there’s no need to delay Christmas.

But there’s a problem: your father isn’t as crazy over Christmas as I am.

I want the tree up already. I’ve been playing Christmas carols since September and I have no plans to stop until January. Dad on the other hand, can do without a tree. In fact, he’s threatening to not put up the tree this year at all!

Star, your father is a great man and if you’re a boy, I’ll love you to be like him, but on this Christmas issue, please don’t emulate him.

Until then, please I need to join an early Christmas support group. I need to know how other Christmas enthusiasts like myself are coping with the grinches of this world.

Merry Christmas, Star.

1545 Days of Love.

Dear Nigerian Husband,

It’s 1545 days since we began this journey together. This journey of inhaling each other’s farts, of pretending to laugh at each other’s jokes when they’re nothing close to being funny. (But to be honest, you’re a comedian and I really wish I had hidden cameras to capture your comedy. The world could use such humor.)

I woke up this morning with the urge to write you a love note. I’m so not sure what to write, I don’t have all the romantic things to say. I really just want you to know you’re appreciated. (Well, let me be truthful, you’re not immediately appreciated at times when you’re brutally honest. Eventually, you are though. God knew I needed someone who’d dish out some tough love from time to time. I really never knew my stubbornness at the time would allow me have a partner.)

These four years with you have been amazing. Honestly, my life has turned around for good because you’re in it. And it will continue to get better. Thanks for reawakening the dreams I once had and for pushing me even when I resist the push. I prayed for a good man, God gave me the best he’s ever created.

I’d say I can’t wait to see what the next four years and more will bring, but I really have no option than to wait. What fun will it be if I’m able to see our future in one day. I just pray as our love evolves we never lose our zest for life. I pray as our lives change, our love changes to fit the circumstances.

Beautiful Man, you’ve been the best support any girl could ask for. You’re the best guy, I can’t wait to see you live out your life as the best dad. I’m sure Star will have nothing but great things to say about you when the time comes.

I may not always be physically expressive of my love as I am when I write about it. I pray to get better, but I pray there’s never a day that goes by when you’ll question my love for you.

I really don’t know what good I’ve done for God to bless me with a guy that still chooses to love me even when I’m very unlovable. God, you’re really gracious.

That’s all.

Journey To Myomectomy – God Did it.

Dear Star,

I’m in a good mood today, I’m listening to some old school songs as I write you this letter (Try writing to Kool and The Gang and the likes playing in the background.)

You’re reading this letter, which means all went well with the surgery I had in Jos. And things went well not because I was strong and brave and not because I had the best doctor, who by the way is the best doctor I’ve ever had, but things went well because God had a hand and still has a hand in it all.


Six weeks ago, just a few days before the surgery, I wrote you while nervous. God came through for us, Star.
As soon as your grandma picked me up from the airport, we dropped off your cousins – Arhyel and Hyelni – and also grandpa at home while we headed straight for consultation with Dr. Patrick Daru at Hope Hill Medical Center.

At the consultation, he listened to my story, which wasn’t short at all. He answered all my questions and even saw through my fears and answered those questions and fears I tried to mask under jokes. Weeks ahead of the consultation, I barely slept and wasn’t eating well, but after the consultation, I went home, had a warm bath ate very well and slept all through the night. I was at peace, not only in knowing the doctor was knowledgeable and seemed to genuinely care about me, a patient, but I slept well knowing God had everything settled. Having a doctor with a great sense of humor, emotional intelligence, sarcasm and love for people was reassuring.

Unlike many Nigerian doctors – at least the old school ones – Dr. Daru and I spoke about social media, and other fun topics including music. Heck, he even said I could bring the loudest Bluetooth speakers I can bring to the operating room. I had put together a playlist I’ll like to play just in case I was allowed my own music.

I had a few days to further prepare mentally for the surgery. Initially, I thought your father couldn’t join me in Jos for the surgery. Oh was I in for a surprise. He showed up at grandpa’s house less than 24 hours before the procedure.
I was happy knowing he’d be there with me all the way. I had all my family in Jos and they’d be with me too, but having your father there was the icing on the cake. Star, if you’re male, I hope your father is your role model on how to be a good human and how to treat women. If you’re female, I hope you don’t settle for any guy that isn’t like your father.

Thursday morning, the day of surgery, your dad, your grandmother and I went to the hospital and I got prepped for surgery. Dr. Daru came in with his jokes to further calm me down.
When the time arrived, your dad walked me to the theatre and off I went.
Even after entering the theatre, your father who was outside had a question he needed the doctor to answer before the surgery began, and the doctor, being the ever receptive and patient man he is, stepped out and made sure your father was satisfied before he got in to start the operation.

I was terrified on and off throughout the entire procedure, but knowing God had control of the doctors’ hands had me calm. God wouldn’t take me into that room without bringing me out in good health, I thought throughout the entire time. It was even more comforting to hear the anesthesiologist ask everyone to gather around for prayers before he administered the spinal anesthesia.

My playlist of mainly Marverick Music worship songs and some Bob Marley kept me distracted for the most part. At times when my mind wondered off, thank God, I was able to reel myself back in with the worship songs and some verses from the Bible.

When the surgery was over, your dad and grandma were there to welcome me back to my room. Pains only kicked in about an hour later or so. Most of the pain I had were within the first 24 hours after surgery. However, I was able to take my first few steps within that period after the nurse gave me some kind of hospital bath/wash down. The entire experience was marked with some first – first surgery, second time ever throwing up and first time ever fainting. That was as scary as the entire thing went.

As far as pain goes, it was very manageable. I began talking walks less than 24 hours after the surgery and I was able to eat heavier meals in less than 48 hours. The only challenging thing for me was getting in and out of bed without disturbing the incision area. Things got better with time.

Recovery has been great since then, except for bouts of pain here and there.
However, my first period since then was PAINFUL. When I couldn’t take the pain, I had to call the doctor. Apparently, severe pains after a myomectomy could be normal and even last for the first three menstrual circles. I pray I don’t get the experience those pains – first because I don’t want pains, secondly, I hope you officially start your physical journey to us by then. (Apparently, contrary to what was obtained in the past, depending on the types of cuts or how intense the surgery was, one doesn’t have to wait months to start trying to conceive, Dr. Daru explained. Thank God for advancements in medicine.)

Star, as much as I’m documenting all these for you to see how your journey – on our end at least – started, I’m documenting all these to first of all, encourage other parents in waiting that good things do and will happen in the end. But for you Star, I want you to take away from all these the fact that God is always with us and will never leave us at the times when we need his presence the most.

Just before I went in. I uploaded a different picture earlier, but nah… my face was too fat. lol

There’s more.

Journey to Myomectomy.

Dear Star,

I’m nervous. Very nervous.

I leave for Jos on Monday and I’m scheduled to go under the knife on Thursday.

Star, this photo was taken in 2014 or so. I was still out in the Virgin Islands living very carefree and enjoying life. The best is yet to come with you.

This surgery will bring us closer to having you here with us physically. I’m happy. However, I’ve never had any surgery before. Heck, not even a stitch have I ever gotten.

I couldn’t sleep last night, I tossed and turned, I thought of all sorts of scenarios. Thankfully dawn came and I left the bed to exercise. But needless to say, today has been quite an emotional roller coaster.

But Star, the nerves may rage, emotions fly all over, but I’m confident of this: God is going to ensure all ends in praise. I’m going to go to Jos, have a successful surgery and in a few months, you’ll start the physical journey to your father and me.

Speaking of your father, yesterday, July 29 was his birthday and July 27 was officially four years since we got to know each other. Honestly, God has been faithful to us. We see his hand in our daily affairs. We’re thankful and can’t wait for you to share in this love and life we share.

Star, there’s so much I’ll want to teach you, but I hope my open letters to you will help you see the need to be vulnerable if you have to, but quickly draw strength in first acknowledging when you’re hurt and also draw strength from the support system I’m sure you’ll have. My support system is a lot bigger than I thought. As the date for the surgery was set, I realized I had quite a lot of people who I care for and who care for me and need to be updated on my health status. I’m truly blessed to have them on my side. They’re quite a lot, I can’t wait for you to meet them all.

I’m packing so I’ll have to stop the letter here, however, I’ll be sure to be in touch before surgery.

Love,

Mom.

July 30.2020.

The Nigerian Mother In-Law. (How We Met.)

Dear Star,

First things first, I must apologise for my recent letters that haven’t been fun. From writing about unpleasant doctor’s visits to birthdays that weren’t so cherry and also pursuing the fat-depositing-village-people. (To be honest, I think chasing the Village People away is a positive thing – I can’t see the six-packs yet, but I know they’re in there somewhere, I can feel them.)

Seriously, life is good. Life is fun and is meant to be lived with joy and filled with plenty lovely moments. On that note, I’ll tell you more about things that make me happy.

After all these letters I’ve written you, I’m very sure you know for a fact that writing about love makes me happy. But not just any love, the love your father and I share. I’ve enjoyed telling you how your Uncle Moh hooked your father and I up. Your aunties and uncles have also enjoyed snooping in on the letter I wrote you on when your father met your grandfather.

Let me tell you of when I met your grandma, Hajiya.

After about two months of chatting with each other, l already knew your grandmother as a very important part of your father’s life. He adores her and so does she.
Even before your father and I met physically, he gave me Hajiya’s number to call her and just have a chat.

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Like, is this man alright? How am I supposed to call my prospective mother in-law whose son I’ve never even met? What am I to tell her? In fact, she being a Nigerian and the reputation most mother in-laws have, how am I to Continue reading

“It’s My Birthday, I Can Cry If I Want To…”

“Aimasiko lo’n damu eda o, oro mi lowo Oluwa lo wa.”
Not knowing when your moment will be, burdens people. My matter is in the hand of God.
 
Dear God,

Yesterday was my birthday.

32 years of roaming on this beautiful earth of yours. Three decades plus two years of experiencing your pure love and grace. How you’re always mindful of me, I can never comprehend. I can never understand how despite my daily shortcomings, you see it fit to renew your grace and mercy over my life daily. It can only be you, God.

The deep and secret content of my heart I sure can’t hide from you so I know you know how my heart felt yesterday. For the most part, I was ungrateful. I truly struggled with Continue reading

Defeating My Enemies.

Star,

Remember the last time I wrote about two people telling me congratulations thinking I’m pregnant?

Well, since then, I’ve taken things into my own hands. My village people will not win. I’ve been running/jogging/walking.

I’ve gone on 8 runs since then and in fact, I think I can feel the difference around my mid area already. Praise the Lord.

But thing is, I will reiterate, I don’t owe anyone flat stomach, so I will work out but “I cannot come and go and kill myself.”

Na big belle I get, no be person I kill. Thank you.

Continue reading

“It Will Take A Miracle.”

Dear Star,

These past few weeks haven’t exactly been easy. Your dad and I have been home now for more than 6 weeks due to the Corona Virus I told you about a few weeks ago. People are dying, but people are also recovering as the number of infected people soar.

But we’re fine, by God’s grace, we will continue to be.

However, my mind has been quite the battle field lately.

See, all of a sudden about two months, I started having such intense migraines. I visited the hospital and the doctor recommended some tests and a procedure. But several years ago while still living in the Virgin Islands, it was discovered that I had Continue reading

Make Memories.

Dear Star,

I recently had to undergo a certain medical procedure for the first time ever.

I was terrified, anxious and plain out worried about the outcome/side effects.

A few minutes before I was scheduled for the procedure, a terrible migraine kicked in. Thankfully, for some reason, the guy who was to carry out the procedure asked some questions that led him to make a decision not to continue at that time but wait a few hours.

That gave me and your father a small window of time to allow me go home for a nap.

By the time we returned, I had listened to some of my recent favorite worship songs by Bethel Music. It also gave me time to work on my mental state. I resolved to think of Continue reading

I Hated Christmas.

Dear Unborn Children,
It’s been quite a while I wrote you, in fact, I’ve not written you since 2019. That’s bad.

However, I was busy having a nice and easy-going Christmas.
I spent the day quietly with the Nigerian Husband- God answered my prayers, he didn’t travel away as I though he would and he wasted scheduled to work either! Talk about God listening to my prayers. I didn’t go all out with the cooking, it was pretty modest and nice, if I can say so myself.
I was and still am grateful for life, for love and for family.

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One of my favorite things to make recently has been peppered gizzard, I couldn’t possibly skip it for Christmas lunch.

For the past few years, I made the effort to make Christmas ‘big’, but it wasn’t always like that. in 2009 or 2010, can’t remember, but something happened Continue reading

Merry Christmas.

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love the decor, the food, the merrymaking but most importantly, the reason for the season, the birth of Christ.

But there was a time I hated Christmas. I’ll tell you all about it in my next post. But here, gush over my Christmas tree. (If you’re on my Twitter – @voureal9jakid – or on my WhatsApp, then you’d have been fed up seeing this tree. But hey!)