I’m Terrible.

Throw stones at me, call me horrible names. I am not a nice person!

Wait, I’ll explain.
Honestly, this morning I woke up with my self esteem hanging down there in the minuses. But I still said my devotion and did what I had to do to show up at work, as I was under the weather over the weekend and missed work for two days.
Look, truth is, my mood this morning was sort-of self imposed. Almost like me sabotaging my own happiness and sanity. Well, I got to work and the songs I was playing did nothing but make me plunge deeper into my mood.

That mood sort of made me realize something though.

There’s this senior citizen who faithfully reads the newspaper I work for. He is the most sociable and outspoken senior citizen out there. He is not only jovial, but also very generous and maybe just a tad bit more flirty than he should be.

He dutifully comes to the office at least three times a week and brings with him lots of treats- cookies, fresh vegetables, wafers, candies, pies, tarts, you name it.
This nice intellectual, eclectic old man calls me his wife (For the record, he says he’s going to follow me to Nigeria in July and ask for my hand in marriage…lol) and demands to see me each time he visits. When and if he doesn’t see me, I’ll be sure to receive a call from him hours later.

With that said, sometimes, he happens to show up at times when I’m in a no-nonsense mode. He on the other hand, never takes no for an answer.

So let me confess, several times I’ve asked the receptionists to tell him I’m not in. As trifling as this sounds, I’ve even gone as far as hiding under my desk just to avoid him.

That’s horrible of me. I feel bad about it.

So, this morning, he showed up and I was in a very foul mood. I literally hid in the bathroom. When he was about to leave, I over heard him leaving instructions. “Tell my Vou I love her, and I know she likes the guava tart, so make sure she gets the only guava tart I got.”
My heart broke. See me going out of my way to hide from a poor old man who has mostly no other motives but to come share little of what he has and to have a conversation with some of the people he enjoys reading. 😦 Oh Vou, where is your humanity? Where is he love?
And after he said what he had to say, he told them he was going to be traveling and won’t be back till January.

I couldn’t let him leave without at least seeing him. I knew my conscience would torment me till he returned. For goodness’ sake, he means well.

As soon as he left, I ran after him, I yelled out his name in the street and he came back. The smile on his face when he saw me crippled my heart. I gave him a warm hug and we had our usual senseless chitchat. Trust me, after that, I felt good and my mood improved by 75 percent.

People, I’m always here preaching love, a cheerful life and all that feel good stuff, but I must confess, sometimes, I don’t follow those same principles. I try my best to live a happy and positive life, but some days, I wake up and nothing else matters and makes sense like being in bed away from humans.

As of today, I promise I’ll never run or hide away from that old man. Life is too short to shun people. Life is too short not to accept goodwill and smiles from people.

Please, tell me I’m not alone. Leave a comment and let me know when you’ve been a terrible person and how you’re working towards being a better being.

Please smile, accept hugs, lighten up a little bit… Tomorrow is promised to no man. This life is fragile and too short.



25 thoughts on “I’m Terrible.

  1. awww..this made me smile. the poor old man probably is in need of good company and since he found one he you,he does not want to let go. indeed life is too short..imagine if you didnt run back to him and he never returns in that january-death? guilt will eat you up..

    yeah there are times when we are in no mood even for our favorite persons,and afterwards you realize it wasnt worth it.
    most times i try to put my own discomfort,problems and sorrows away and just be there..
    believe it or not people look to you as their source of joy and strength UNKNOWN to you..i try to have this at the back of my mind.

    ok enough of my lengthy comment.
    ps: good to be here after a while.i will catch up on old posts later,but for now i need to go study for exams.

    much love vou

    • Zeze,
      I always enjoy reading your comments. Indeed, sometimes we have to put ourselves aside and listen to others’ pains and sorrow. I must learn to do that a lot more…
      Abeg, study hard and all the best with the exams

  2. Indeed, very nice piece Vou. It’s yelling at my conscience, hmmm, I am so ashamed of myself now. I have quite a few stories similar in nature, I will share one. Every morning or night when I walk Flash-my dog, there is this dude who no matter what always find something to say to me about me or my dog. Mind you they are very friendly compliments and sometimes- most of the times he tells me that he loves me and he wants to marry me but in my opinion he is mad and could be very annoying at times. So whenever I am walking and I see him I would stretch my face like I am vex with the world and that would be my excuse to not respond or hear any of his feelings and compliments. But not i am feeling horrible after reading that post, maybe the dude thinks I am a nice neighbour and is just trying to be friend me. I can’t even make amends because now I don’t see him around, I haven’t seen him for a few weeks now. sigh.
    I am sure not to act in that manner again, life is too short to not share love.

    • Thanks for reading Nikki,
      Indeed, sometimes we tend to think too much of ourselves and focus on our issues rather than that of others. I hope you get to meet that man again sometime soon. 🙂
      Perhaps he can even walk your dog with you one day. We never know what people are going through…
      I enjoyed reading your comment.

  3. We certainly miss those ‘annoying’ people when they’re not there, as annoying as they can be they put some happiness in to our hearts sometimes and they put smiles on our faces when we least expect. I’ve been terrible too, and Im sure I’ll still be sometimes (I hope not too often though) I’ll keep this article in mind 😀

    • Hey Chalya!!!
      Great to have you here 🙂 Thanks for reading…
      For real, they do put smiles on our faces…
      Secretly, I’m happy to know I’m not the only terrible person around, but please, try entertain the “annoying” folks every now and then,… 🙂

  4. Ngovou you indeed have revealed something very important,its true i do same sometimes.OK let me make a confession,i saw the heading of this article and i said ohhh why will Ngovou not say something good about herself,then i realized its about saying the truth and this is how i behave most times and i think it does not matter.

  5. you are not alone my dear, we’ve had our moments….a liltle too much of somethings cud b annoying or pestering . but that lil too much sometimes is all we need to light us up. well yle hiz away you could cut clips of the articles from your paper and send to him, or keep them in a box for him till he returns. that shud make him smile wen he returns. cheers dear.

  6. Ouch! I heed from this chick even when she came to visit me at the house some years back and well she’s married now! You definitely aint alone on this. Really some people go through a lot sometimes and feel they can rely on us to put smiles on their faces but we turn them down instead. Nice piece Rookie B, switching to the better person mode from now on..lol. No more ducking!!!

  7. Awesome read, we all go through those days. I’m glad you were able to see the good through the “negative” and continue to let your light shine! 🌠

  8. Pingback: The Joys of Reporting. | Vou Vents

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