I really must warn you, this post makes no sense and may not add any valuable lesson to your life. Read at your own peril (I seriously question my sanity sometimes…)
Dear Nigerian Husband,
Listen, I hope/know you’re an open-minded fellow. I refuse to think/accept that all Nigerian men are traditional and won’t tolerate women talking openly about issues such as shaving, menstruation, sex or all the other topics that drastically decrease a woman’s potential as “wife material.”
But then, who cares if you think I should talk about this topic or not? One of the pacts of our mystical union is that you accept me as I am, right? My sometimes uncouth behavior included.
(Abeg, forget it! I care oh… I shall not be that old maiden/old aunty whose house all the nephews and nieces frequent because there’s no uncle to bully them… okay sorry I’m going totally off course!)
Gentlemen and ladies, girls and boys, I’ve not shaved/shaped my eyebrows for months now and guess what? I’m not really bothered by it and see no reason why anyone should be. I mean, it’s not reached the stage where it just pops off my forehead and flies into your faces yet!
Please makeup gurus and addicts, don’t throw stones at me but I just don’t get this strange thing of shaving off your eyebrows and then replacing it with eye pencil or whatever the name is now. (Yes, I do care about my appearance, but it must please me first before it pleases others.)
Don’t get me wrong, every now and then, I visit the salon to get my brows tamed, but just don’t see the need to do it because everyone is doing it and because it looks like the thing to just accept without resistance.
I remember about two months ago, I went to the salon to have my hair done. As soon as the hairdresser was about done with my hair, the barber next to her leaned over and ordered that I move to his station next to get my brows “fixed.” I politely told him I didn’t want them “fixed.” Next thing I heard was “Oh, I forgot you’re African.”
In my mind, he had already fainted by the blows I gave him. But then in reality, I looked calm and just smiled. I didn’t want to engage in any conversation about Africans being primitive people. I didn’t think that in 2014- this day and age of internet and information- I should be convincing anyone to read beyond what they see on CNN/ BBC or even some Nollywood movie.
Anyways, it’s not the eyebrows alone oh… Hold on, before your mind takes you to unconsecrated grounds, every other part of my body is groomed regularly. Well, except my legs.
I’m having a hard time understanding why I must shave my legs. You can barely even notice hair on my legs, I think. Why should I waste valuable sleep time and expensive Nair on that part of my body when there are other sacred areas to worry about?
I refuse to do anything because others are doing it or because it’s the “lady-like” thing to do. I shall only do things because they are godly or because they fit into what Vou wants.
Who started this whole shaving craze anyway? I’ve been having a hard time understanding why and how shaving of legs became a requirement for women and a faux pas for guys (depending on your circle). And this post doesn’t mean you’re allowed to start inspecting my eyebrows or legs when next you see me.
If you like sleep, eat, smile, live, love, laugh and fart out loud! Life is too short!