So, it’t about 11 p.m. and I just got home. Hence, I’ll waste no time and use no big words/long sentences in saying I hate pageants.
It’s Sunday night and by now, i should be in my bed getting enough rest for the week. But no, I just came back from a pageant.
Now, I’ve attended a lot of pageants. More than is recommended for one human life. but hey, it’s my job and I should be happy attending them right? Never!
This pageant began shortly after 3 p.m. and ladies and gentlemen, it didn’t end till about 10 p.m.
I can’t even believe I’m typing that. I’ve been to some pageants that went on for hours nonstop, but this one tops them all.
There were eight couples competing for two crowns of Prince and Princess (Sort-of like the Virgin Islands’ Toddlers and Tiaras. )
Beauty pageants make no sense to me. What’s the point of judging people mostly based on external beauty. Some people might argue that most pageants (at least around here,) have talent segments as well as interviews to determine contestants’ intellect, but people, anyone can memorize and act. Others might bring us the most used excuse of pageants building self esteem… Shut the front door!!! You don’t need the public’s stamp of approval on your self esteem. If you can’t have a pep talk with yourself every morning and rub an extra doze of self confidence before leaving home, then my love, the public won’t and can’t do it for you.
I’d enjoy pageants a little if almost all the contestants didn’t have to be so rigid, stiff and fake. Every darn pageant contestant comes up with the usual nonsense of “I am your contestant number who-cares, vying for the prestigious title of ….” Shut up already. Let me determine if the silly pageant you’ve unfortunately signed up for is prestigious or not.
As if all the cliches associated with pageantry weren’t enough tonight, the amount of time they wasted ate my patience away in quantum.
Already, I’m not a very patient person and have zero tolerance for stupidity. The official photographer of this pageant tonight almost made me lose my christianity…. The silly man decided to have all the contestants of another pageant and allllllllllll the winners of every Tom, Dick and Harry pageant walk up on stage to take a photograph. Like dude, you have access to these folks, set up another time to have your photoshoot. (Not that your photos are great or anything… Yes, I said it. when you first began, you were the bomb.com. Don’t know if I can say same for your work now.)
I’m pissed. I’m going to bed.
Deal with any errors. Ain’t nobody gat time for that right now!
Ooohhh, so you’re pissed? guess what? I don’t care, I still hate pageants.
After proofreading papers yesterday, there wasn’t much to do at the office so I decided to shoot the intern.
I had such a good time. I hope you like the photos. Been a while I actually had like a semi-proper shoot.
Dear Nigerian Husband,
Over the weekend, I got my cooking hat on, thinking you’d perceive the aroma of the food and show up, but you’re still adamant on not showing up…
Your loss! You missed out on the fried rice and dodo (fried plantain) I made.
Yes, I want my shoe back.
I’ve been back on my fitness grind and all excited with the little changes I’m seeing on my body. Needless to say, the results have been fueling me to keep going.
Hence, this morning, I got up early, packed all my work stuff, got changed into my work out wear and got extra clothes.(Plan was to exercise, shower at the gym then be at the office early)
I’ll be covering an assignment tonight and may not have the time to attend aerobics this evening.
I was all excited and was even thinking of which songs I’ll workout to when I get to the gym. The last step was to wear my shoes…
I found just the right shoe and
couldn’t find the left leg!
Certainly, this shoe has got to be under the couch on the porch.. Phssss, it wasn’t! Next, I thought my neighbors were playing a prank on me.
Immediately, I thought my Jamaican neighbor had it. I was sitting on the ‘throne’ this morning when I saw his him pass by on my porch. I was convinced he had them and was even telling my landlord that the neighbor must stop being silly.
I got mad but not super mad. I was sure I’ll walk upstairs and he’ll just hand over my shoe. Again, I was wrong. He didn’t have my shoe.
My exercise plans came crashing down right before my eyes!!! I couldn’t workout this morning.
I’m mourning the loss of my shoe. It may look really old, ugly, big, uncool and all that nonsense, but I want it back! That’s my only exercise shoe! Bring back my shoe!
This pair of Nike sneakers has seen me through a lot. It’s seen me through one break-up, several stressful days and even many happy days.
I’ve done many 5 mi + runs with this pair. This shoe has anchored me on several socarobic and aerobic sessions.
The last time that shoe was seen was Saturday evening while I was cleaning my apartment. It was right in front of my door beside the couch. There was no sign of any suspicious activities going on.
I even wore it on Saturday to the gym. If I knew that was the last time I’d be seeing it, I would have stayed at the gym longer. This isn’t the life I bargained for this week. I hoped I’ll eat right, work out like a pro and burn a lot of calories! 😦
I want my shoe back!
Now my only guess as to the whereabouts of this shoe is- the neighbor’s dog must have been a bit too excited and ran off with my dear Nike shoe.
The first time I saw that dog, I didn’t quite like it. If you ask me, I’d say the dog is silly and stupid. How can a dog be too friendly to just randomly run to your apartment and want to jump on your lap? sigh.No dog, we aren’t cool. you can’t just run around the place like we’ve been friends. I mean, even the landlord’s dog, which i’ve known for years doesn’t dare come by my apartment without my permission.
Anyway, I think my neighbor’s
pest pet, may have gone away with my shoe,
I want my shoe back 😦
Folks, I’m accepting donations for a new pair. While you all flood me with requests on how to donate, I’m also accepting free espionage services as well as intelligence on how
we can recover my shoe.
Girls and gentlemen and ladies,
So, after my two or so letters to the Nigerian Husband, I’ve had folks ask me if I’m not sure my letters are scaring the Nigerian Husband and most people just plain out want to know who the Nigerian Husband is….hahahha.. Keep asking…
There’s no Nigerian Husband really, but there is a Contender for the title (and he faces no competition)… I’ve always been under the impression that he doesn’t pay this blog any attention. ( I still think so. He only makes random appearance, or visits mostly when I send him a link and tell him he’s going to be drilled on what he reads.)
So yesterday, I felt like being a nag for no clear reason.. (You believe that??? Of course there was a reason… very insignificant issue- he always says.. I digress)
In an effort to shut me up, he asked “So when next are you going to write about the Nigerian Husband?” (The good man knows how to get me to calm down.
Can you believe The Contender and his guts? Haha… How dare he ask when I’m going to be writing my dear Nigerian Husband? Our correspondence is purely between the both of us and the frequency of such messages don’t depend or bow to outside pressure!
So, you Contender, keep reading and you’re sure not to miss any letters…