Ban All Beauty Pageants.

So, it’t about 11 p.m. and I just got home. Hence, I’ll waste no time and use no big words/long sentences in saying  I hate pageants.

It’s Sunday night and by now, i should be in my bed getting enough rest for the week. But no, I just came back from a pageant.

Now, I’ve attended a lot of pageants. More than is recommended for one human life. but hey, it’s my job and I should be happy attending them right? Never!

This pageant began shortly after 3 p.m. and ladies and gentlemen, it didn’t end till about 10 p.m.

I can’t even believe I’m typing that. I’ve been to some pageants that went on for hours nonstop, but this one tops them all.
There were eight couples competing for two crowns of Prince and Princess (Sort-of like the Virgin Islands’ Toddlers and Tiaras. )

Beauty pageants make no sense to me. What’s the point of judging people mostly based on external beauty. Some people might argue that most pageants (at least around here,) have talent segments as well as interviews to determine contestants’ intellect, but people, anyone can memorize and act. Others might bring us the most used excuse of pageants building self esteem… Shut the front door!!! You don’t need the public’s stamp of approval on your self esteem. If you can’t have a pep talk with yourself every morning and rub an extra doze of self confidence before leaving home, then my love, the public won’t and can’t do it for you.

I’d enjoy pageants a little if almost all the contestants didn’t have to be so rigid, stiff and fake. Every darn pageant contestant comes up with the usual nonsense of “I am your contestant number who-cares, vying for the prestigious title of ….” Shut up already. Let me determine if the silly pageant you’ve unfortunately signed up for is prestigious or not.

As if all the cliches associated with pageantry weren’t enough tonight, the amount of time they wasted ate my patience away in quantum.

Already, I’m not a very patient person and have zero tolerance for stupidity. The official photographer of this pageant tonight almost made me lose my christianity…. The silly man decided to have all the contestants of another pageant and allllllllllll the winners of every Tom, Dick and Harry pageant walk up on stage to take a photograph. Like dude, you have access to these folks, set up another time to have your photoshoot. (Not that your photos are great or anything… Yes, I said it. when you first began, you were the bomb.com. Don’t know if I can say same for your work now.)

I’m pissed. I’m going to bed.

Deal with any errors. Ain’t nobody gat time for that right now!

Ooohhh, so you’re pissed? guess what? I don’t care, I still hate pageants.

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8 thoughts on “Ban All Beauty Pageants.

  1. First off. L O Freaking L!!!!!!!!
    Secondly, I love you!!

    Then.

    #BANALLPAGAENTS I’m just done with them. They’re too many, too banal, too stupid, possess no sensible objective, have no long term positive effect or repercussion, did I add, they are stupid.

    After Agbani Darego won Miss World in 2001 and they brought the pagaent to Nigeria the year after only for our dear Muslim brothers to threaten to blow all the girls up (typical), I lost taste for all these pagaents. They should most all be scrapped save for one or two that actually have standards.

    I’m done.

    • So, I’m relieved to read I’m not the only one with a dislike for pageantry.
      I’d comment on contestants being judged totally based on western beauty standards, but that’s none of my business.
      I’ll happily attend one with standards as you said. Like one in which contestants are extensively grilled on world issues or topical issues in their communities, one that seeks to genuinely bring out the humanity in them.
      Abeg, let me stop this long talk, I don’t see this happening any time soon in this generation we live in….I still hate pageants though.
      And oh, thanks for the ‘L O Freaking L” I’ll thief that one day. 🙂

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