Archive | October 2014

DSC_0168

Dear Nigerian Husband,

It’s been ages I wrote to you. All has been/is well with your future Nigerian wife.
I’m writing you this letter on a very sour note.

Before I go on, please just look at me in the photo above and tell me I look like a queen, royalty, empress and the embodiment of a good wife. Exactly! I thought so too.

As I walked to the office this morning, I could feel heads turning towards my direction. ( I must say, I’ll make you look really good whenever you walk next to me dressed in Ankara. Don’t get me wrong, you’re not bad looking at all)

Enough of me blowing my own trumpet.

With me lovely and all out of the way, I’m writing you this letter to report my colleague Ken.

So, after I got into the office, I began getting myself ready for the day’s work. Usually my preparation involves getting the Afro beats mix on youtube before anything else.

So while I was getting into the routine, Ken walked into the office. Not only did Ken not compliment me on this lovely African dress, but he also asked if it was a Halloween costume. (Gosh, What is wrong with these Americans? They are so out of place. I mean I’ve relaxed my standards by not requiring you to lie on the floor each time i pass by or sprinkle flowers on the ground before I can pass. Now all I ask is that you respect my lovely ankara dress and compliment me on it… Cheiii)

Jesu!!! How could he? I mean, doesn’t he know we don’t do halloween as Africans? (Well, except of course you’re referring to all the masquerade dances that take place in many villages every other week?)

My Dear Nigerian Husband, you have to do something about Ken.

I got that dress from my mother’s closet! She doesn’t know I reconstructed it though, else I’ll be dead meat!

Please don’t take my vanity in this post too seriously! It’s Friday, please just smile and move on…

Yours in marriage eventually,
The Nigerian Wife

I’m Ebola-free.

So I’m in transit, heading back home in the Virgin Islands after spending few weeks in Nigeria.
I’ve been traveling for more than 18 hours and I just need a bed, as such I’ll save blogging about how I was denied boarding because I got no ebola certification. (I actually do have clearance)
I got very little energy to blog about it right now, so I’ll wait until I get home and settle down

Live, love, laugh, fart out loud and be silly, life is too short.

Vou

Vacation.

Folks,
I’m currently on vacation in Nigeria. One would imagine I’ll have lots of time to blog and all that good stuff right?
Phssss! My days are so busy! Filled with sleep, food, love, laughter, sleep, being a bum. I hardly have time to do anything else.
Worry not though, I’ve been making mental notes of things I should blog about. Like when they wouldn’t let me into the church because my head wasn’t in a wrap and much more.
Bye, I need to conserve the battery on my phone. NEPA just did the usual plus I need to sleep and eat. Haven’t done too much of that today and that’s awful!

Oh… Happy birthday Asmau, see you soon!

IMG_8657.JPG