Dear Nigerian Daughter,
I’ve written your dad – The Nigerian Husband- several letters and he refused to reply a single one of them despite my threats of not cooking for him and the threat of many men coming at me.
But of course, this has nothing to do with you. I’m writing you on an issue I faced as a young girl in my twenties and an issue you’ll face when you get to that age. I’m not worried though, you’ll heed to my advice.
You are a queen and never settle for anyone treating you less than the royalty you are.
See, my unborn daughter, when I was in my twenties, I made the terrible mistake of allowing a dude treat me less than a queen. Thankfully, I got out in time to realise my worth. You my dear, won’t have to deal with that.
Never for one day should you let any man make you think you’re not worth being chased. If he likes/loves you, he will do whatever it takes to show you. You won’t have to fight it out of him. NEVER DO THAT! If he likes/loves you, he will call you every single day, he will text you, he will be in touch, simple! (Well, in my days, we dealt with cellphones, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Facetime and the likes. I don’t expect you to keep up with all those old time social media platforms.) I digress.
If he is really into you, he’ll travel to wherever it takes to prove that to you. If he wants to be with you, he’ll do all it takes to be with you and if he doesn’t want to, he’ll make excuses.
You, my daughter, are worthy of love. You’re worthy of being chased by a man. You are worth being wooed! You shall not settle for a man who thinks you must follow him. If you have to do all the calling and reaching out, child, you’re in the wrong relationship.
See during my time, at some point, I thought letting the guy do all the wooing was too traditional. What an error! You can be unconventional in allllllll areas of your life, but you must remain traditional when it comes to relationships, well not all areas, but most.
My Unborn Nigerian Daughter, you deserve to have a man who will pray with you and help you grow spiritually. If he doesn’t do that, then he may not have my blessing. I’m sure your father won’t approve either. You deserve a man who will kneel before God on your behalf. You are our princess, you deserve that. Never for once think you have to lower your standards to accommodate any man. If he wants you, he will upgrade his standards to meet you half way or even higher standards for you to look up to.
Listen child, there are many good men out there, don’t let the bad few make you give up. Heck, you won’t have to search is my whole point.
My Unborn Nigerian Daughter, you are Jollof Rice, don’t settle for anyone treating you like plain, bland white rice. Jollof rice takes time to prepare, but it comes out the best. Not everyone can make jollof rice. I may be up there in age, but I’m still perfecting the art of cooking Jollof Rice. Anyone can cook white rice (Well, almost everyone- it took me a while to get it right, but it’s easy nonetheless)
You my daughter, you’re garri soaked with milk, groundnuts, kuli kuli and lots of sugar, don’t let anyone treat you like plain, simple soaked garri without sugar. Child, you are Peak Milk, don’t let anyone treat you like common Cow Bell Milk. You are suya roasted by the best Bauchi man, don’t let anyone treat you like badly prepared fried chicken from Mr. Biggs.
You are my Princess and a queen to the right man. Don’t let anyone treat you any less!
P:S I won’t even let any of these happen to you. I’ll be watching you ALL the time. Any man who seeks you should know if they mess with you, they might not have two legs for the rest of their lives. I’m done.