I love to poke fun at my life, so please don’t take this too seriously, but if you do, I feel sorry for you! lol
Nigerian Husband (Please notice the absence of “Dear.”)
You’re taking this thing too far now. I recall a few months ago, I wrote to you when some guy disrespected me while walking to the office. I also remember writing to you when you refused to show up to bid me a romantic farewell at the airport in Barbados in July.
Something painfully disappointing happened again this morning. This might be the last letter I will write reporting my bad experiences with men who are disrespectful and uncouth.
I left the office to go get me a drink when this guy who works at a law firm not too far from mine stopped to interrogate me.
So this guy who I hardly know and have never said a word to beyond “good morning,” seems very concerned about my personal life. Surely, he should be privy to what I do outside work, i mean, our offices aren’t too far away from each other, he should and must be entitled to such information.
Just when I thought I had heard the most ridiculous questions there could ever be, this man asked “so do you have a boyfriend?” My reply was no. It didn’t stop there. “So why don’t you have any?” he added.
I politely told him that wasn’t on my radar at the moment and then he dropped the bomb… “So are you into men or women?”
Well, boys and girls, gentlemen and ladies, there you have it! If you are single and aren’t thinking of being in a relationship, you’re probably homosexual, at least judging by that man’s thinking.
Don’t worry, I didn’t punch him or anything, I simply told him he should have asked me from the get-go if I’m a lesbian and he laughed. Well, Nigerian Husband, if you fail to show up, this well-meaning Caribbean man has promised to bring me a Caribbean Husband soon if he doesn’t see me with a man.
Reveal yourself now while you still have the time… The competition will be very stiff!
Yours in marriage eventually,
The Nigerian Wife.