Archive | April 2015

Nigerian Puff Puff for the Nigerian Husband.

Dear Nigerian Husband,
I’m sure you’ve noticed, I hope and wish you’ve noticed that I’ve not written you for many months now.

Since The Contender and I parted ways, I thought you’d just surprise me and finally show your face.

Well, the joke was on me. You refused to show up, hence, I went Continue reading

Mediocre Salons.

Dear hairstylist,

I’m sure you’re at your home now laughing hysterically at what went on this afternoon. Trust me, I couldn’t believe myself either.
If what happened this afternoon had happened to Vou of a year or more ago, one of us would have been in jail by now. Vou of many months ago was quick to talk and wouldn’t have had any problem telling you to go to hell with your service.

Lady, you see, island-wide, people talk highly about your skills. I mean, I too can testify – you did my last Havana twists and i got a lot of compliments. For that reason, I know you must have a full appointment book at all times.

With that in mind, though I thought it was late/ too short notice, before 7 a.m. today, I decided to ask if you had any free lot available to wash and two-strand twist my hair. You went straight to the point and told me I could have my hair done if I arrived at your salon by noon.

I was slack with my gym attendance this week and had to make it this morning. I packed my bag, and everything I’ll need. After a very nice and intense workout filled with cardio, I had a shower at the gym and headed for your place in time for 12 noon.

Before then though, I rushed and made sure I had my lunch. (The universe was definitely in your favor this afternoon because I had lunch and wasn’t hungry. Trust me, If I was hungry, what happened this afternoon wouldn’t have gone down well in history.)

I got to your salon at about five minutes past 12 and there you were weaving a lady’s hair.
That immediately took me back to four months ago when I first visited your salon. I had called you shortly before I arrived and you told me I could come in 15 minutes. I did just that only for me to arrive and have to wait for nearly 30 minutes because you were completing pedicure on another client.

It seems that’s a trend for you. You have people make appointments and then you go ahead and laugh at them for believing you actually have regard for their time. What fools we are.

Anyways, after I arrived this afternoon, you didn’t even have the courtesy to apologize and give me a time estimate as to when you’d have attended to me.

Foolish me with no knowledge of how long it takes to sew in weaves thought you’d have been done in at least half an hour. But no darling, you did warn me.
After about 40 minutes, i still didn’t leave.
I noticed right next to your station was a couch. I asked if I could lay on it while you finished up.
At that point, I expected you’d turn in your equipment and quit your job. That should have been the turning point, a moment that should have revealed to you that you’ve failed at this service driven profession.

Dear hairstylist, at that point, I thought you’d offer me a drink and apologize sincerely for having me show up and having to wait. Now, you didn’t I went ahead to lay there for almost another hour. When i got up, you had the guts to ask me “did you enjoy your nap?”

Am not sure which cosmetology school you went, but your teachers must be pretty embarrassed to hear of my encounter with you today.

I waited for almost another hour before you finally finished the weave.

Eventually, at about 2:15, you washed my hair.

but…

You left my hair wet under a towel and proceeded to undo the weave on another client’s hair and then washed it.

At about 3 p.m. you sat down to have your burger and finally, you came back to me and casually said “thanks for your patience Vou.”

You said it so careless without an apology as though I had been sitting there for only five minutes.

Girl, you’re very skillful at what you do, and you somewhat treat my natural hair with care but your service sucks. You’re a nice person too but sweetheart, I’m not sure I can subject myself to such horrible service ever again.

I never knew it was possible to sit in a salon for nearly four hours for a simple service as wash and twist.

Actually, I apologize for venting and being rude, I should really blame myself for sitting through all the nonsense and not saying a word. in my defense, (even though there should be no excuse at all) I was in shock.

see you never again,

Vou

PS
The first time you did my hair, you were so gentle and was actually the first hairstylist in the BVI to handle my natural hair so well and even oiled my scalp properly with olive oil. That charmed me and made me return, but you didn’t do that today. What happened?

Emma, Learn to Cook! 

Next time never ever dare me or tease me with Nigerian food(s) I don’t have at my disposal!

Here’s the story.
Over the weekend, my good friend Emma thought it wise to tease me with photos of cake he baked. He was huffing and puffing about that cake and how his neighbors were all lined up at his door waiting for the cake.

Emma was basically trying to belittle me and my cooking skills.
Well, you my friend just got served!
Here’s a picture of my dinner last night.
It’s chicken-mushrooms in a white wine sauce.
Now beat that!
I decided to treat myself to nice dinner last night and at the same time cook something I could throw back in your face!

“It’s Okay If He Hits You Once,” – Domestic Violence.

I’m very passionate about domestic violence awareness and prevention.

As per my morning routine, I went on Youtube to see what my channels have for the day. I noticed this Bata Box video where women were asked what they’ll do should their partners hit them.
Bata Box, though somewhat a comedy channel, takes jabs at serious issues going on in Nigeria. For the most part, they do a great job and for other times, the interviewers ask the most embarrassing questions and are often not objective. I like them nonetheless, they help create a picture or give access into the mind of the average Nigerian (on the streets of Lagos)

Back to Domestic Violence.
My heart broke listening to the responses from most of the women. More than half of them think it’s okay or acceptable for a man to hit them once. Some even go as far as saying they will remain in the relationship even if the beating continues.
Their responses are very alarming and scary. Continue reading