Dear Nigerian Husband,
Towards the end of 2015, I began to doubt if you exist and why you’re taking forever to show up. I also wondered if your parents really did raise you right and all that jazz.
But being the good girl I am and the amazing Nigerian wife I know I will be, I decided to turn all that criticism inwards. I made the decision to look within and see what I was doing wrong.
You’re a good man, from a good family and as such, you’ve been taught never to keep women waiting.
After weeks of introspection, I got an epiphany. The reason you’re not here with me is because I’m almost blind.
Yes, that’s right. I’m almost blind. Without glasses, I can barely see. When I say I can barely see, I mean it.
I’ve passed friends by many times when I’ve not had my glasses on or my contacts in. I’ve been labeled a snob by so many people who’ve waved at me and I haven’t reciprocated simply because I couldn’t tell who they were.
Quite possibly, you may have been one of those folks.
You may have winked at me from afar and thought I was ignoring you. You have have left me signs and proposals on road signs and bill boards and I’ve been unable to read or see them.
All that will now be a thing of the past.
Believe me, I don’t think being with a woman who can barely see is in your plan at all.
Vision is very important. How on earth will I make you all those delicious Nigerian meals if I can’t see? How will I take care of your children? How will I clean that mansion you’re building for the big family we’re going to have?
How, oh how will I entertain all your friends when they come to visit our house?
Trust me, now I understand why you haven’t shown up. I apologize for being mad at you and for even reconsidering your existence. I’m truly sorry.
It’s not been you after all. It’s been me.
So I decided for 2016, I will work on my vision. Before Christmas, I visited the eye doctor, who happens to be Nigerian and an acquaintance of mine.
After nearly an hour on that hideous seat and enduring all kinds of lenses going on and off my face, the guy lets out a deep sigh. “Oh boy, all this time I know you, I no know sey you no dey see at all…” (All this while I’ve known you, I never knew you couldn’t see at all)
Of course, he said all that jokingly.
So as the beginning of the year is often a good time to start things afresh, I’m renewing my hope in you showing up. Firstly, I’m working on my eyes.
I just got new glasses. From now on, please go on head and flirt. I can see you clearly now.
The coast is clear; come make yourself known.
Yours in marriage eventually,
Ngovou, your future Nigerian wife.