Archive | May 2016

Where Are My Children?

Dear Nigerian Husband,

I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve not written you any letters for a few months. Actually, scratch that. I hope you’re miserable over not receiving any letters from me. You’re entire life should be based on my correspondence with you. You should be miserable, you should skip meals. Heck, be in moaning, My communication with you should be everything!

I refrained from writing you all these months thinking you’d use your initiative and finally show up. I’ve been so wrong.

You’ve remained adamant on making me Continue reading

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I Win Races. 

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

Please put your hands together for me. I’m a champion. 

It was Sports Day for my friend’s son. Needless to say, we came out in numbers (four supporters is “numbers.”) to support our son. You can’t possibly have a Nigerian kid be competing in sports and other Nigerians will stay home. Never. We all donned blue shirts and set out to represent. (His house colour is blue.)

Being the correct Naija boy he is, he bagged four medals. (I mean, he had to work for his supper shey?) lol 

After all the kids’ races, it was time for the adult races. First, the mothers were called but there were few of them present and so the teachers decided to invite the aunties. 

Boys and girls, I couldn’t resist the invitation. I went up to that line. 

I didn’t even stretch well, I mean, I didn’t want to intimidate the others. I got there and represented! I edged them all out. Enough of the talking. Here’s a video , digitally witness the awesomenessfpr yoirselves. I’m not even bragging, I promise.