I Should Have Been Married.

Dear Nigerian Husband,

Let me tell you something, apparently, I should have been married. I’ve been trying to tell you this since I began these Nigerian Husband letters more than two years ago, but you’ve refused to listen.

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Perhaps my experience yesterday will hasten your steps.

I love my job, 90 percent of the time and this is largely because of the exciting and interesting people I interview almost every day.

Yesterday, I visited Henrietta Smith, who celebrated her 100th birthday on October, 25.
Lady is soft-spoken, gentle and kind, but don’t mistake any of that for weakness.

With her razor-sharp memory, she recounted her younger days in the Virgin Islands – she was born in 1916. But she wouldn’t let me go without giving me advice on marriage and raising kids. She gave birth to 15 of her own and occasionally told her children she wish she had 15 more. (See me here still debating whether to have one or two when the time presents itself )

If you want to hear all the juicy things she said, you’ll have to pick up the newspaper next week.

But Dear Nigerian Husband, she said something I’ve been trying to tell you since.

“You should have done marry and have couple of children,” Ms. Smith randomly blurted out. “With the man treating you good.”

But she didn’t end there.
“You’re a good looking girl,” she said.

Dear, Nigerian Husband, you must be blind, because this lady whose sight clearly isn’t as impeccable as yours is seeing my beauty, meanwhile I’ve been going to the gym, eating grass aka salad, just to help you see this hidden beauty, but no, you’re still there acting the fool. I should have been married already, darn it!

Ms. Henrietta even touched on the topic of those twins we are going to have.

“Get the children and get done with it, but don’t marry a young fellow,” she said. ” Marry a ripe man, who got sense in his head and treat you good.”

Dear Nigerian Husband, you know, Ms. Smith isn’t the first centenarian to speak with me about marriage. my dear Kenny Industrious, before he died told me I had to get me a guy from the BVI who will take care of me. After all, I’ve lived in the BVI long enough, I’m one of them and don’t need to go back to Africa to find a man, he explained.
(I’ve disobeyed him clearly, because I’m still waiting on you – this man from a good Nigerian family)

Needless to say, I left that interview with only smiles on my face. She wanted me to stay longer and even extended an invitation to visit her whenever I wanted.

Interviewing senior citizens is one of the highlights of my job. I won’t change it for anything else.

I really don’t need any disclaimers, but you know, these days people’s sense of humor is nonexistent.  Heck, no disclaimers needed, if you took/take any thing I’ve just said literally, you need some church.

Smile, live, laugh, love and fart out loud, life is incredibly too short.


9 thoughts on “I Should Have Been Married.

  1. To the Writer: You clearly got talent. I like.

    To the Nigerian Husband: Please, stop being blind, see the beauty in the Lady, make your move soon, before some “Jamaican guy” would sweep her off her feet.

    To Mrs Smith: May you live long in the presence of God forever. Remind blessed and continue to impact lives with your wisdom.

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