Dear Nigerian Husband,
I’ve been working out almost consistently for the past three weeks, I can see the difference in my clothes here and there.
(I won’t give audience here to the neighbour who saw me about to leave the street this morning for my jog and decided it was appropriate to stop me and tell me how fat I’ve been getting these days)
I’ve enjoyed most of the workouts with the group at the state stadium. For the most part, the people are friendly, but some may need a bit of manners: they come late and still see it their right to stand right in front, edging out those who are early. I digress, that’s just me being petty.
But this vent it’s about any of them.
I left the group early today as I planned on getting home in time to prepare for a funeral. As I walked back home, I noticed a mini-van pull up in front of me. I mean, I didn’t think the driver was pulling over for me, so I walked by without saying a word. He called my attention, I stopped because thought he needed directions. ( I’m sorry for anyone who would follow my directions to anywhere in this Jos. You’ll end up in Bauchi State. LOL)
Anyway, this man went on a mini attack of questions.
“Are you into modelling? Because I saw you walk by and you walked like a model.”
At this point, I didn’t want to say a word so I kept on moving.
“Do you have any interest in modelling?” I simply said no and kept on moving.
“I’m John from Cowbell Company, what is your name?”
I told him I don’t tell strangers my name, and proceeded to place my headphones back on.
A few yards down the road, John from Cowbell Company decided to shoot his shot again.
“Baby, why are you stretching me out?”
“Do I have the pleasure of speaking with you,”
Dear Nigerian Husband, you like rough play. I’ve pleaded with you several times, when can I bring my people to see your people. The elements in this world are becoming bolder and bolder and too wack with their lines. LOL
Picture this, say I really love milk or milk products, don’t you think I’ll cart off with John from Cowbell Company and forget about bringing my people to meet your people? Please do the needful, tell your people, I’m bringing my people to come greet them. And I’m coming with the best palm wine. I don’t care for John from Cowbell Company and his milk products, it’s you I care about.
Let’s get married already.
Yours In marriage, eventually.