Dear God,
It’s been a little over two months since I birthed Star and she’s gone on to be with you. As much as I’d have loved it if we got to experience her a bit, I know for sure you’re happy having her among your angels.
God, this letter is about air-conditioner. I know, what’s the relationship between Star and AC. Let me explain.
Before Star was born, the Nigerian Husband began making plans of what he’ll like to have in place by the time she arrives. Air-conditioner in our bedroom was one. Needless to say, as much as I’ll love to have one installed for the bedroom – Lagos is hot – I’d have loved it more if his dream of having his child comfortable came to reality.
See, God, often, women are the focus of attention when a couple lose a child. There are support groups, people even go out of their way to tell husbands to take care of the women, be there for them and all that. Now, that’s great, women need support, but, Lord, men, unfortunately, are often forgotten.
I was in labour for more than 48 hours. Through those painfully long hours, the Nigerian Husband was supportive. If there was a way to transfer that physical pain, I’m sure he’d have carried the pain. The helplessness he felt was palpable especially in the final few hours of labour.
He’s one strong guy and I’m so sorry he’s had to deal with the loss of his child. I saw him sob before I got into active labour. Immediately I pushed out your angel, he didn’t care what anyone thought of him at that time, he was strong enough to acknowledge his emotions and vulnerability, he sobbed and sobbed.
Dancing In The Waves by Bethel Music played in the background when I was being delivered of the placenta. That song will forever be a reminder of our loss, but importantly, it will remind us of how wonderful God is even through our pain. On the flip side, in the earlier days of losing Star, the Nigerian Husband cried in the car each time that song came on.
Father, really, I wish there was more open support for fathers who’ve lost their babies. They suffer just as much as the mothers.
All said, I’m ready for the Nigerian Husband to start dreaming of things he’ll want to have in place for the child we know you’ve blessed us with. I want him to think about having his 1 horse power air conditioner in the bedroom again. I’ll love to see him show me baby videos on Instagram again.
God, in faith, I thank you for restoring that dream but above all, please continue to heal his heart.
Vou.
Wow! this is touching. I could feel your faith in the words. God has heard.
Thank you very much, Shiphrah! God indeed has heard, we’re just waiting for the manifestation of our prayers.
May God grant you according to your heart desire and fulfill all your purpose. He will give what you want and more..
Thank you very much, Captain Ola!
Amen.you are so right about the men being forgotten. The BE A MAN phenomenon is robbing them so much of the chance to grieve and sadly often leads to unfortunate consequences. He is indeed blessed to have you. More grace Hong de
Mafeng pyiak. God really is faithful.
This is so touching, I admire the strength and courage in you. The loss of a child is indeed heavy to the heart and no parent should go through such pain… I pray that God continue to heal both your hearts and bring your dreams to reality. Blessings rookie Bee…
Thanks Groomsman! God has been so faithful to us. We thank him and praise him even through the pains.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️
We shall buy this air conditioner and do jego zobo. In the Lords time
Why did I get so excited at the thought of jego Zobo? I love it. Thanks Nen.
Men, as strong as we are yet very vulnerable. No one ever stops to taking of us. Worse of is that we don’t even have men’s networks where we share and build one another up. Even in churches women groups are stronger. Men mostly meet to watch games, have drinks and play strong. No room for weakness that we all actually carry. Those of us who are lucky to marry our friends and sisters get by others are left with like they say, cruise and insha Allah.
Gathering to play strong! That’s deep but sad.
My heart cries for you, little sister
Will pray for you and your husband
Thank you very much, but we give glory to God for healing.