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The Contender.

Girls and gentlemen and ladies,

So, after my two or so letters to the Nigerian Husband, I’ve had folks ask me if I’m not sure my letters are scaring the Nigerian Husband and most people just plain out want to know who the Nigerian Husband is….hahahha.. Keep asking…

There’s no Nigerian Husband really, but there is a Contender for the title (and he faces no competition)… I’ve always been under the impression that he doesn’t pay this blog any attention. ( I still think so. He only makes random appearance, or visits mostly when I send him a link and tell him he’s going to be drilled on what he reads.)

So yesterday, I felt like being a nag for no clear reason.. (You believe that??? Of course there was a reason… very insignificant issue- he always says.. I digress)
In an effort to shut me up, he asked “So when next are you going to write about the Nigerian Husband?” (The good man knows how to get me to calm down.

Can you believe The Contender and his guts? Haha… How dare he ask when I’m going to be writing my dear Nigerian Husband? Our correspondence is purely between the both of us and the frequency of such messages don’t depend or bow to outside pressure!

So, you Contender, keep reading and you’re sure not to miss any letters…

Amebo!

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The ‘Crushee.’

My dear Nigerian Husband,

I really don’t know if you already read this blog of mine. But just in case you’re a reader already, I want you to know that you have nothing to worry about over this post. This is just an innocent childhood rant, just me wishing a good old friend the best!

regards,
your Nigerian wife ( Goodness, this sounds cheesy on all levels… but who cares? hehehe)

So girls and boys, gentlemen and ladies, lets get back to our regularly scheduled programme, shall well?

Rewind 10-15 years ago. Maybe even more…Way back to Sunday School days at ECWA Gospel II.

I wasn’t even a teenager then. Maybe I was.
I loved Sunday sunday for many reasons. The lively teachers we had, (The likes of Uncle Billy and Uncle Rodgard -Not sure I spelt that correctly though) the fun songs Uncle Billy formulated and the friends I had.

But you see, at one stage in my sunday school days, there were a few boys I liked more than others. Yep, I wasn’t entirely the most behaved kid in that regard. But then, who’s to say other little girls didn’t like other boys as well.

At some point I liked this boy called Terna,  (Terna if you’re reading this, Yes, I had a crush on you…lol)  but that crush was short-lived when he became too popular and wouldn’t even notice I existed. You can image how crushed I was.

But my people, this post isn’t about Terna. It’s about the main guy I had a crush on. But even worse than Terna, I don’t think I ever showed up on his radar. His name? Henry!

Henry was quiet, he was smart, he was neat, he read well and he always appeared a bit shy.
One other problem was, Henry always hung around the older Sunday School kids. Those kids who wouldn’t let you hang in their circle… those kids who knew way more Bible verses than we the younger kids.

I remember one time Henry and Queen- a girl I secretly envied because she got to hang around Henry more than me- were assigned the roles of reading the ‘news’ during Sunday School Day (On Sunday School Days, the kids took over the service. we led praise and worship, performed skits and dances).

I can’t even begin to tell you guys how grieved I felt when I wasn’t chosen to read the news along side Henry. I mean, I thought I could read, articulate and appeared just as bold as Henry and Queen. Why wasn’t I chosen? Heck, It was that Aunty Vou. I never believed she liked me much… she was among the mean Sunday School teachers…. (Goodness, this sounds like I had a very disturbed childhood huh? hehehe- If you take this too serious, then my dear, you need to see a shrink!)

Anyways, while I crushed hard on Henry, (And at that stage, crushing on someone simply meant you longed to sit next to them all the time and have the run after you on the playground.) he paid me no mind.

Needless to say, that crush eventually died down, but I never lost respect for the fine-looking Henry.

So Henry Khantiok, now that I have your attention on this blog. From a former ‘Crusher’ to her ‘Crushee,’ I want to wish you a happy birthday!

May this new year bring you closer to being the Man God has ordained you to be. May this new year be filled with blessings, joy, laughter, love and happiness!

People, join me in wishing my Sunday School crush HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

 

Live, laugh, love, smile, sleep and fart; life is too short!

Vou