Tag Archive | African Food

Award-winning Ogbono Soup.

This soup won awards, I’m in my house, come and beat me.

Dear Nigerian Husband,

I’m beginning to feel sorry for you.

See while you’re still stacking and working hard to come pay bride price, it appears the stakes may be getting higher; you may need to work a tad bit harder. I’m this close to being worried that by the time you bring your people to meet my people, you may not be able to afford my bride price.
DSC_0980 Continue reading

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World Jollofrice Day. 

Folks,

Last year, some very wise person decided to declare August, 22 as World Jollofrice Day.


That person would probably be getting a nicely cooked and garnished plate of Jollofrice from me if I knew who he/she was.

Last year, I was sure to observe the day by cooking a nice pot of jollof for myself. This year, I won’t be cooking any on the official day, but next weekend for sure. However, I was at a baptism reception today and I had more than three plates of jollof. Please judge me, I don’t care.

Here’s a poem I’ve written to commemorate this auspicious day, this day on which we recognize the best meal God inspired,  recipe handed down from generations to generations, Angels’ meal of choice – Jollof Rice.

Be My Jollof.

Let’s make love, no let’s Continue reading

Who Even Needs a Man? 

Dear Nigerian Husband,

I’m just about to round off on my letters to you. You’ve been nothing but disrespectful and callous by deciding not to show up.

What you did last night possibly is the proverbial straw that breaks the Carmel’s back.

Let me explain.

After my exercise yesterday, I decided to Continue reading

To My Unborn Nigerian Daughter.

Dear Nigerian Daughter,
I’ve written your dad – The Nigerian Husband- several letters and he refused to reply a single one of them despite my threats of not cooking for him and the threat of many men coming at me.

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But of course, this has nothing to do with you. I’m writing you on an issue I faced as a young girl in my twenties and an issue you’ll face when you get to that age. I’m not worried though, you’ll heed to my advice.

You are a queen and never settle for anyone treating you less than the royalty you are.

See, my unborn daughter, when I was in my twenties, I made the terrible mistake of allowing a dude treat me less than a queen. Thankfully, I got out in time to realise my worth. You my dear, won’t have to deal with that.

Never for one day should you let any man make you think you’re not worth being chased. If he likes/loves you, he will do whatever it takes to show you. You won’t have to fight it out of him. NEVER DO THAT! If he likes/loves you, he will call you every single day, he will text you, he will be in touch, simple! (Well, in my days, we dealt with cellphones, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Facetime and the likes. I don’t expect you to keep up with all those old time social media platforms.) I digress.

If he is really into you, he’ll travel to wherever it takes to prove that to you. If he wants to be with you, he’ll do all it takes to be with you and if he doesn’t want to, he’ll make excuses.

You, my daughter, are worthy of love. You’re worthy of being chased by a man. You are worth being wooed!  You shall not settle for a man who thinks you must follow him. If you have to do all the calling and reaching out, child, you’re in the wrong relationship.

See during my time, at some point, I thought letting the guy do all the wooing was too traditional. What an error! You can be unconventional in allllllll areas of your life, but you must remain traditional when it comes to relationships, well not all areas, but most.

My Unborn Nigerian Daughter, you deserve to have a man who will pray with you and help you grow spiritually. If he doesn’t do that, then he may not have my blessing. I’m sure your father won’t approve either. You deserve a man who will kneel before God on your behalf. You are our princess, you deserve that. Never for once think you have to lower your standards to accommodate any man. If he wants you, he will upgrade his standards to meet you half way or even higher standards for you to look up to.

Listen child, there are many good men out there, don’t let the bad few make you give up. Heck, you won’t have to search is my whole point.

My Unborn Nigerian Daughter, you are Jollof Rice, don’t settle for anyone treating you like plain, bland white rice. Jollof rice takes time to prepare, but it comes out the best. Not everyone can make jollof rice. I may be up there in age, but I’m still perfecting the art of cooking Jollof Rice. Anyone can cook white rice (Well, almost everyone- it took me a while to get it right, but it’s easy nonetheless)

You my daughter, you’re garri soaked with milk, groundnuts, kuli kuli and lots of sugar, don’t let anyone treat you like plain, simple soaked garri without sugar. Child, you are Peak Milk, don’t let anyone treat you like common Cow Bell Milk. You are suya roasted by the best Bauchi man, don’t let anyone treat you like badly prepared fried chicken from Mr. Biggs.

You are my Princess and a queen to the right man. Don’t let anyone treat you any less!

Warm regards,

Your mother
P:S I won’t even let any of these happen to you. I’ll be watching you ALL the time. Any man who seeks you should know if they mess with you, they might not have two legs for the rest of their lives. I’m done.

Keep Calm and Eat Nigerian Meat Pies.

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Dear Nigerian Husband,
I trust all is well with you.

It’s 2015, and I plan on spending more time in the kitchen perfecting all the treats I hope you will some day enjoy.
I’ve always loved cooking but in the past year, I don’t think I cooked as much I would have liked. Usually, I cook when I’m in a good mood, it goes without saying that last year may not have been a great one in that regard.

Since the second week of December though, I’ve been cooking a lot more. I even made baked turkey for the first time. (There really is hope for the undomesticated young women out there after all. lol)

In my quest to try more meals and snacks, I made Nigerian meat pie for the first time a few weeks ago.

Last year (2013) by this time, I couldn’t even make chin chin, but look at me now, I’m making meat pies…

Dear Nigerian Husband, i reserved a couple of the lovely pies for you but you didn’t show up, so I gave all of them away. Don’t worry though, I made some more today. You can still have some. (Who am I kidding, you have a reputation of not showing up, so I’ll just give these away too.)

In case you’re trying to make some yourself, here’s a guide to make it. Keep in mind i’ve never really written a recipe for anyone to follow. Just use your common sense.

Here are the ingredients you’ll need –

Flour, butter, egg, baking powder, minced meat, onions, garlic, chopped carrots and peas, stock cubes ( As a Nigerian it’s a no-brainer that your choice will be Maggi or Knorr Cubes), Some curry and dried thyme leaves and potatoes.

First off, dice the potatoes, heat some oil in a pan or pot or whatever you feel like using really. Add some chopped onions and garlic if you like, fry slightly, then add your minced meat and then add your curry, thyme leaves and stock cubes. I don’t think I should tell you how long you should let the meat cook. You should know when the meat it ready. FInally add the potatoes, carrots and peas.

Let that cool for a bit.

Time to make your dough.

I just eye ball the ingredients for the dough. I’m pro enough to give you measurements and all that.

Pour you flour in a bowl, add baking powder and mix. Add your butter, and mix it in until the flour looks like bread crumbs then add one to two whisked eggs. Again mix until everything blends together, then add some water and knead until the dough becomes somewhat elastic.

(To be honest, writing down this recipe is exhausting. I think I’ll just stick to showing you pictures of what I make and when you finally show up, I’ll make them for you.)

It’s common sense that after your dough is ready, you roll some, cut out some circles, roll again with a rolling pin of course, then finally add some of that nice minced meat, close it in and then bake for as long as you want to.

I feel so out of my skin with this recipe. I’m done…lol wheeeew, I’d rather just cook and show off the pictures than cook and share the recipe

Bye.

Jollof Rice, A Meal For Royalty.

My Dear Nigerian Husband,

I noticed you’ve not been in contact with me as much lately. I hope you’re not transferring your anger over Jamie Oliver’s jollof rice recipe on me.

I guess like many other West Africans, you too never noticed that the widely criticized chef posted that his disgrace of a jollof rice recipe since June. Me too, I didn’t notice. Just imagine how many innocent Jamie Oliver followers have been mislead. Cheeeiiiii.

It only occurred to me this evening when I was on Instagram and I came across rants over British Chef, Jamie Oliver’s “interpretation” of the sacred jollof rice.
Dear Nigerian Husband, apparently, this famous chef saw it fit to- like many chefs- have a twist to the very sacred jollof rice.

As you and I know, jollof rice has caused and continues to cause tension between West Africans for many years. More so between Nigerians and Ghanaians. Each West African country claims to have the best jollof rice.

Dear future husband of mine, as we both have learned from out fore parents, when two or more elephants are fighting, ants dare not show their faces. Jamie Oliver clearly never heard about that proverb, he decided to knowingly or unknowingly jump into the fight about Jollof Rice.

Whether you’re from Nigeria, Ghana, Sierra Leone, Gambia or Togo, we all know that you follow the basics of making jollof rice religiously. How dare you talk about Jollof Rice without talking about blended tomatoes, bell peppers, scotch bonnet and onions? Oh dear, this big time chef decided his own recipe will be different, he thought it wise to tell his viewers/readers that they can include whole vegetables, lemon wedge and even- you can’t believe it- whole cherry tomatoes on the vine.

Jesu!!!!

My dear Nigerian Husband, it’s a known fact- between my siblings, family members and very few close friends at least- that I’m not the best cook in the world, but I can never ever include whole vegetables and lemon in jollof rice. I joined in the chorus of many pissed-off West Africans on the internet. The thing pain me… When I glanced at the photo, i barely noticed rice in it and sincerely thought it was salad of some sort. How could he?

Mr. Oliver needs to focus on making better chips and fish rather than finding ways to desecrate a meal that has been passed on from generation to generation. Jollof rice is a meal of kings and queens.

Dear husband of mine. You need to do something about that chef’s recipe. I know even you can make better jollof rice.

Just as the Spanish regard paella highly, the mexicans regard burritos, Jamaicans respect and honor Red Stripe and Jerk chicken, we West Africans honor jollof rice!