Tag Archive | Pick up lines

“Are You Into Modelling?”

Dear Nigerian Husband,

I’ve been working out almost consistently for the past three weeks, I can see the difference in my clothes here and there.
(I won’t give audience here to the neighbour who saw me about to leave the street this morning for my jog and decided it was appropriate to stop me and tell me how fat I’ve been getting these days)

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This is an old image, I miss my apartment, my smoothie and being crazy alone!

I’ve enjoyed most of the workouts with the group at the state stadium. For the most part, the people are friendly, but some may need a bit of manners: they come late and still see it their right to stand right in front, edging out those who are early. I digress, that’s just me being petty.

But this vent it’s about any of them.

I left the group early today as I planned on getting home in time to prepare for a funeral. As I walked back home, I noticed a mini-van pull up in front of me. I mean, I didn’t think the driver was pulling over for me, so I walked by without saying a word. He called my attention, I stopped because thought he needed directions. ( I’m sorry for anyone who would follow my directions to anywhere in this Jos. You’ll end up in Bauchi State. LOL)

Anyway, this man went on a mini attack of questions.

“Are you into Continue reading

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Hi, Hello, Okay, Bye.

A photo just because I can... and because I think I like those shades!

A photo just because I can… and because I think I like those shades!

Dear Nigerian Husband,

This has been on my mind for a while now and I think it’s only fair that I have this discussion with you. You’re a very smart man and you’re intense with common sense.

Why are some guys so clueless when it comes to trying to make their intentions known? ( I ask this because, I know you’re not one of them. You go for the kill!)

On my way to work this morning, I had one of those very awkward conversations and situations that tend to dent my life every other day. I saw this man, who I know without doubt fancies me.

After exchanging the usual pleasantries, which are often useless and baseless, I wished him a good day and was just about to carry on when he said “Emmm, this your…. emmmm… This your..” For nearly 20 seconds, this man was short of what to say. I thought for a second he was going to ask me something serious, something about my articles, something about family or whatever.

“This your… is it blue?” he was referring to my blouse. “Oh.. turquoise, you mean?” I said.
“Yes! this your turquoise shirt looks nice.”

My Dear Nigerian Husband, how hard was that? All he needed to say was my blouse was nice without trying to sound exotic or without making it look like a big deal. That same guy has shown up at my office once looking so lost and clueless. “I just came to say hello,” he said.

My Dear Nigerian Husband, what did you think my answer was? “Well Hi,” and I shut up after…lol I really can’t stand guys who aren’t straight shooters….

To make it worse, this guy is Nigerian! WIth all honesty and hope, I know beyond reasonable doubt that that man is not you! It can’t be. He surely isn’t the Nigerian Husband I’m fasting, praying and waiting for and written about… never. (Heheh)

The other night, this other one saw me in a maxi dress and flip flops and thought it wise to ask if I was returning from the gym!

Another saw me at the grocery store pushing a cart and obviously shopping and thought the right conversation starter was “What are you doing here?”
Dear Nigerian Husband, I hope you don’t think I should stand and answer such stupid questions. My reply to the dude was “Oh, nothing really, I’m just here to stare at the products!”

Please, tell me, my Dear Nigerian Husband or male readers, what’s the most ridiculous pick up line you’ve ever used.

I’m out to face more silly and awkward conversations…. 🙂

Smile, laugh, live, love, fart and be silly, life is too short.

Vou