Tag Archive | relationship

I Owe My Daughter.

Dear Unborn Daughter,

Let me apologize for delaying your arrival to earth. It’s not my fault or anything, God is still working on me and your dad.

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I know we had an agreement since my teenage years that myself and your dad would Continue reading

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Dating is Hard. 

Dear Nigerian Husband,

What’s the matter? Why have you chosen to ignore my need for your attention?
I’m beginning to think you’re out there laughing at me with each letter I write. Whatever the case is, there’s this part of me telling me you’re just waiting on the perfect time to show up. My intuition is right. I know it is.

However, there’s also that little part of me that believes Continue reading

To My Unborn Nigerian Daughter.

Dear Nigerian Daughter,
I’ve written your dad – The Nigerian Husband- several letters and he refused to reply a single one of them despite my threats of not cooking for him and the threat of many men coming at me.

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But of course, this has nothing to do with you. I’m writing you on an issue I faced as a young girl in my twenties and an issue you’ll face when you get to that age. I’m not worried though, you’ll heed to my advice.

You are a queen and never settle for anyone treating you less than the royalty you are.

See, my unborn daughter, when I was in my twenties, I made the terrible mistake of allowing a dude treat me less than a queen. Thankfully, I got out in time to realise my worth. You my dear, won’t have to deal with that.

Never for one day should you let any man make you think you’re not worth being chased. If he likes/loves you, he will do whatever it takes to show you. You won’t have to fight it out of him. NEVER DO THAT! If he likes/loves you, he will call you every single day, he will text you, he will be in touch, simple! (Well, in my days, we dealt with cellphones, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Facetime and the likes. I don’t expect you to keep up with all those old time social media platforms.) I digress.

If he is really into you, he’ll travel to wherever it takes to prove that to you. If he wants to be with you, he’ll do all it takes to be with you and if he doesn’t want to, he’ll make excuses.

You, my daughter, are worthy of love. You’re worthy of being chased by a man. You are worth being wooed!  You shall not settle for a man who thinks you must follow him. If you have to do all the calling and reaching out, child, you’re in the wrong relationship.

See during my time, at some point, I thought letting the guy do all the wooing was too traditional. What an error! You can be unconventional in allllllll areas of your life, but you must remain traditional when it comes to relationships, well not all areas, but most.

My Unborn Nigerian Daughter, you deserve to have a man who will pray with you and help you grow spiritually. If he doesn’t do that, then he may not have my blessing. I’m sure your father won’t approve either. You deserve a man who will kneel before God on your behalf. You are our princess, you deserve that. Never for once think you have to lower your standards to accommodate any man. If he wants you, he will upgrade his standards to meet you half way or even higher standards for you to look up to.

Listen child, there are many good men out there, don’t let the bad few make you give up. Heck, you won’t have to search is my whole point.

My Unborn Nigerian Daughter, you are Jollof Rice, don’t settle for anyone treating you like plain, bland white rice. Jollof rice takes time to prepare, but it comes out the best. Not everyone can make jollof rice. I may be up there in age, but I’m still perfecting the art of cooking Jollof Rice. Anyone can cook white rice (Well, almost everyone- it took me a while to get it right, but it’s easy nonetheless)

You my daughter, you’re garri soaked with milk, groundnuts, kuli kuli and lots of sugar, don’t let anyone treat you like plain, simple soaked garri without sugar. Child, you are Peak Milk, don’t let anyone treat you like common Cow Bell Milk. You are suya roasted by the best Bauchi man, don’t let anyone treat you like badly prepared fried chicken from Mr. Biggs.

You are my Princess and a queen to the right man. Don’t let anyone treat you any less!

Warm regards,

Your mother
P:S I won’t even let any of these happen to you. I’ll be watching you ALL the time. Any man who seeks you should know if they mess with you, they might not have two legs for the rest of their lives. I’m done.

“If You’re Disappointed…”

photo-4Dear Nigerian Husband,

It’s been a while I wrote to you.

I’ll make this short. Just like you, I’m working hard to make sure we both live comfortable lives. (I have stories waiting to be written and production day is tomorrow.)
I’m a bit disappointed with you. You’re lurking around for too long and you’re refusing to show your face.

For the past three or more months, I’ve had several men- whose calibre can’t be compared to yours at all- ask me if I’m married, if I have a boyfriend and if I have kids. I’ve been respectful just as you’ d want me to be. I’ve not told anyone of them off yet.

Listen, I’m not rushing you at all. Rushing you means I’ll be rushing myself as well. And we both know you’ll arrive when we are both ready to handle each other.

This morning though, I almost gave one a not-so nice reply. He saw me walking to the office peacefully and nodding my head to some reggae music and asked “so you aint’ married yet?”

Honestly, I wasn’t in the mood to answer such a question, so I lied… (shame) and said I was married.

His response- “Well, that’s good but if and when you get disappointed, I will be right here waiting on you.”

Dear Nigerian Husband, just as I’m working on making myself agood house wife, I hope, no scratch that! I know you’re working super hard on being the man of my dreams. These men have no regard for you.
Even before your arrival, they are already plotting to take your place!

You have to do something about men like these. You can’t have them disrespecting your future Nigerian Wife.

I’m done!

Yours in marriage (eventually)

Vou