Menstruation Tales II ( To the Unborn Nigerian Daughter)

Dear Nigerian Daughter,
I’ve been meaning to write you this letter about something very important!  Not sure how old you’ll be when reading this, but I’m certain you’ll be at a good stage where all this will make some sort of sense.

I’ll try make this as informal as possible in order not to scare you.

Listen child, at about age 12 or so, you’ll start to bleed from your vagina every month. Don’t worry, that won’t kill you or anything. Infact, it’s very normal and something almost every female goes through monthly. I’m not all that into science/biology, so I’ll try explain the cause of this bleeding anyway.
This monthly bleeding by the way, is called menstruation. You hear people call it all sorts of names/ codes, but don’t mind them. Don’t even listen to them; it’s menstruation, period!

In somewhat real street terms, you have menstruation as a sign that you’re not pregnant.

So at some point during the month, your ovaries release eggs into your uterus. Should you have sex – which we all know you won’t before marriage – and that guy ejaculates inside of you, his sperms are likely to meet those eggs your ovaries released and taarrrraaaa! You’re having a baby!  ( I don’t know whose son will be crazy enough to want to have sex with you or heck even want to date you without my permission. I’m not crazy, I promise)  But if you don’t have sex and no sperms are present in your uterus, the eggs just come flowing down your vagina, hence menstruation.  

I didn’t mean to bore you with all that, I’m simply writing to sort-of give you an idea of what to expect during that period. This is based on my experience!

1- You’re going to have to master the art of sleeping in decent positions. My daughter, it took me years to understand that
when my period comes, I must never take chances by sleeping on light colored bed sheets. When my period comes, it flows like the Red Sea. Expect to wake up on some mornings with large red maps on your bed. No need to worry or anything, just wake up, take those sheets off, replace them and pray you don’t have to repeat the same the next morning.

2- White clothing can’t be your friend during mensturation. If I’m to be really honest even, I’d recommend not wearing anything except your panty. I don’t even trust my heavy period with black clothing. As I said earlier, I bleed like the Red Sea. Remember that story of how I almost literally painted the town red during one of my periods? Yes, stay as far away as possible from bright clothing during your period.

3- Expect your moods to take you on a ride all over the world, up hills then suddenly down valleys and just any where, really. Don’t be alarmed, I hear there are pills for that. But considering I’m not too much a fan of conventional medicine, I’ll advise you stay away from them.
When I began having periods, my mood wasn’t always all around the place, but as I grew older, the darn thing just went crazy! One time during my menstruation, I found my self crying over a funny YouTube video. And also laughing at things that shouldn’t really be laughed at. All that is normal, just make sure you’re still somewhat nice to others as period only lasts about five days and life goes on with or without it.

4- Menstuation is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not a taboo.  Pretty self-explanatory right? Feel free to knock on my door in case you don’t understand. Please take advantage of this open-door policy.  I never really had that with your grandmother. She was a counsellor at a high school, but she never straight out had discussions with me about sex or menstruation. Back in the day, most African moms just let you learn from experience. I mean, I didn’t turn out completely a waste, but  think I’d have turned out a little differently if I had those sessions. Just a little different.
5- Menstruation cramps are of the devil, but they happen frequently.  I woke up one period morning, and my waist was literally trying to secede from the rest of my body!  Even before the menstruation begins, your breasts may become the most painful things ever! Sometimes you dare not touch them lest your hypersensitive nipples burst right before your eyes. I’ll like to go on with these points thing I have going on, but I’m afraid this post is becoming way too structured and official. Let’s talk about the nasty big balls of disgusting liquid that magically show up on your face during menstruation or shortly before menstruation! Actually, there’s nothing to talk about, they’ll show up anyway. Hopefully, by this day and age, there’s a great beauty product that takes care of that stupid pimple in a minute or two!  This is boring isn’t it? Boring or not, don’t be alarmed when at age 12 or so, you wake up in a pool of red substance. It’s called menstruation, don’t panic. Period. Warm and glory regards, Your mom! Remember you can just knock on my door if you’re confused by these silly aforementioned points.